sabato 30 gennaio 2010

BLACK OUT



Una dimensione strana mi ha intrappolato questa notte, un turbinio di ricordi , emozioni e sorrisi mischiati tra luci ed ombre, due bracciate nei miei 18 anni, quando la pista da ballo era il vero, unico, prezioso e insostituibile momento, per cui valesse la pena vivere!!!
Tutto mi è balenato in quel quarto d'ora di delirio, quando nelle tue vesti da ventiseienne , ti abbandoni e navighi in quel bicchiere, mentre l'alcool scorre fiero nelle tue vene ed i tuoi arti non ti appartengono più, ormai sono parte dei quel beat, sono parte di quella folla che ti attrae e ti respinge, un fluttuare in quella penombra dove i neuroni sensoriali ti abbandonano.

In quell'atmosfera surreale, tra quell'odore acre proveniente dal sottobosco di quella folla, sono stato rapito da quello scorcio, che si ergeva da quel palchetto, manco l'avessero fatto apposta.
Non erano altro che 5 giovincelli, 3 ragazze e 2 bulletti, tutti sui 17 anni circa, che giocherellavano fieri con i loro cocktail, alzandoli al cielo come trofei di quella notte, vinti con il "si" di mamma e papà.
Uno dei 2 tipetti, probabilmente il più ganzo, <> come un animale da disco, agitando la testa con movimenti meccanici, sicuramente visti in qualche video di Husher mentre si lavava le belle scarpe con la bevuta che teneva in mano;

L'altro tipo, si avvinghiava sul divano con la dolce pulzella con l'avidità ed il forte desiderio fisiologico oserei dire, di poter squarciare quei stupidi pantaloni, e dimostrare tutta la sua virilità di diciassettenne; le sue mani si muovevano a scatti, timide e vogliose sui panta collant di lei, che tradita dall'imbarazzo della sua giovane età, era rimasta accartocciata con il braccio tra i due divanetti: lo scatto morboso di lui l'aveva spiazzata, lasciandola come una storpia nelle braccia della passione.

Le altre due erano davvero uno spettacolo ai miei occhi, sembravano due fate bianche, due anime pure e lucenti, in quella tana buia e maleodorante;
Si muovevano sinuose scecherando i magri deretani e strusciandoli l'una su quello dell'altra, di tanto in tanto sorseggiavano ciò che rimaneva di un cocktail preso un paio di ore prima, ormai quasi trsparente;
Sorridevano come due veline dopo lo stacchetto e godevano di ogni sguardo si posava sulla loro pelle candida; non c'era alcun che di malizioso ne tanto meno osceno nelle loro movenze, anzi l'acerba seduzione che offrivano, le rendeva irresistibilmente simpatiche, in bilico tra il comico e la commedia.....
Una di loro sfoggiava al cospetto della folla, pensate un po' una vera e propria sigaretta, e tanto era preziosa, che la reggeva come si fa con un vetro di murano e dava delle boccate talmente concentrate che sembrava potesse svenire da un momento all'altro.

Nel frattempo la musica si faceva più forte dentro di me, potevo sentire le vibrazioni scuotermi il cervello, avvertivo l'insensibilità del mio corpo, e tutto si è risolto in quel tonfo nel passato: eccomi, mi rivedo in quella pista circondato da visi brufolosi e sbarbatelli, sorrido imbarazzato mentre mi osservo con quella maglietta rosso lucido e gli occhiali da sole su quel cubo; ma guardatemi come scuto il territorio, il classico diciasettene con la perenne astinenza alle donne, un'esplosione ormonale degna di nota, un bisogno costante e quasi opprimente di apparire e dei grossi e profondi calli alle mani; la stessa persona che viveva per gli amici, erano loro le persone più importanti, sopra alla ragazze, sopra alla famiglia, sopra a tutto perchè riuscivano a riempirti;
ho rivisto la spensieratezza nel vivere il momento e l'innocenza di ogni approccio, ho sentito di nuovo la pura allegria del cuore, e la rabbia di non sentirsi capiti.

...poi rieccomi di nuovo qua, in questa nottata di spensieratezza e nebbia, nei miei panni da ragazzotto cresciuto che balla energicamente come qualche anno fa...
Poi cerco di nuovo loro, mi volto ma...non ci sono più, probabilmente la loro carrozza è già passata.

Cosi una volta tanto, un pò di sana fattanza è servita, ma non per rimpiangere, semplicemente per ricordare....sorridendo.


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